My dear, the full moon has been keeping appointments with women like us for rather longer than history has been keeping records. Once a month she rises in her complete silver dress, floods the garden with pale light, and asks her one recurring question: what are you still carrying that you no longer need?

I am often asked whether one must be a certain sort of person to keep a full moon ritual, younger, wilder, draped in velvet on a hilltop. Heavens, no. My own ritual is conducted in a quiet drawing room with a candle, a pen, good paper and a cup of tea, and it has served me and my readers through divorces, bereavements, retirements, estrangements and every species of midnight worry. Ritual, done properly, is not theatre. It is housekeeping for the heart. Let me show you how I keep mine.

What Does the Full Moon Mean Spiritually?

In the astrological tradition, the moon governs the inward tide, memory, emotion, intuition, the private life of the heart. The full moon is the peak of her monthly cycle: the moment of maximum illumination, when what has been growing in the dark becomes visible. This is why feelings run high at the full moon, why sleep grows strange, why the thing you have been avoiding suddenly refuses to be avoided. Nothing is wrong with you at such times, my dear. The tide is simply high.

Because the full moon reveals and completes, tradition assigns it one great purpose: release. The new moon is for planting intentions; the full moon is for harvesting what ripened and letting go of what withered. Whatever has finished its work in your life, a grief carried too long, a resentment, a habit, a hope that has curdled into waiting, the full moon is the appointed hour for setting it down.

When to Do Your Full Moon Ritual

The night of the full moon itself is loveliest, but you are not late if life intervenes: the moon’s power holds for roughly three days on either side. Evening suits the work best, after supper, when the house has gone quiet. If you can see the moon from a window, sit where she can see you too; if the sky is clouded (I write from England, so I say this with feeling), be assured the tide does not require your eyesight to be high.

Each full moon also falls in a zodiac sign, which colours its mood, a full moon in Pisces softens and brings tears that heal; in Aries it burns away old angers. You needn’t track this to begin. The ritual below serves every moon of the year.

What You Will Need

Very little, and nothing you must purchase from anyone. A white or pale blue candle. Pen and paper, proper paper, my dear; ceremony deserves better than the back of an envelope. A fireproof dish, or as an alternative, a bowl of water. A cup of something warm. And twenty unhurried minutes with the door closed. If you like, add white flowers, a piece of silver, or moonstone, the moon’s own colours, but these are trimmings, not requirements.

My Full Moon Ritual for Release, Step by Step

Step 1: Prepare the room and yourself

Tidy the corner where you will sit, outer order invites inner order. Light the candle, put out the electric lamps, and take three slow breaths. Many women like to wash their hands slowly before beginning, a small ablution that tells the body: we are doing something different now.

Step 2: Greet the moon and state your purpose

Aloud or in a whisper, greet her as you would a dignified old friend, because that is what she is. Then state your purpose simply: “Tonight I come to set something down.” Words spoken aloud have a weight that thoughts do not; this is half the secret of all ritual.

Step 3: Write the letter of release

Now the heart of the ceremony. At the top of your paper write: “By this full moon, I release…”, and then write honestly. The resentment with its owner’s name. The habit. The fear that has sat at your table for years, eating your bread. The version of yourself you have outgrown but kept on out of politeness. Write until the pen slows of its own accord. No one will read this letter but you and the moon.

Step 4: Read it aloud, and let it burn

Read your letter aloud, slowly, once. Then hold the corner to the candle flame and lay it in the fireproof dish, watching it become light and smoke. Fire is the old transformer: what enters it does not vanish, but changes state, as your burdens are changing state, from carried to released. If fire is impractical, tear the letter into small pieces over the bowl of water and later pour it away with ceremony. Both are old and honourable methods.

Step 5: Close with gratitude and a cup of tea

Thank the moon, thank your angels, release, in my experience, is always attended, and sit for a few minutes with your warm cup, letting the quiet settle. Notice how the room feels. Notice how you feel. That subtle lightness is not imagination; it is the correct weight of a heart that has put something down.

Making Moon Water (a Lovely Extra)

Before bed, set a covered glass or bottle of drinking water on the windowsill where moonlight falls. By morning you have moon water, charged, as tradition holds, with the moon’s composing influence. Use it through the month: a splash in the bath, in the teapot on difficult days, for watering the white roses. It is a way of keeping a little of the full moon’s grace in the larder.

What Not to Do at the Full Moon

A few words of honest caution. Do not use the full moon to begin major ventures, she is the hour of culmination, not commencement; save beginnings for the new moon. Do not conduct rituals aimed at controlling another person, love-drawing directed at a named unwilling soul, and suchlike. The heavens do not traffic in coercion, and such work returns to sender, always. And do not perform your ritual in bitterness, hoping the moon will punish those who wronged you. Release them instead, my dear. It is the crueller mercy and the kinder magic, and it is the only one that frees you.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should you not do during a full moon? Beyond the ritual cautions above: avoid signing weighty documents or making irrevocable decisions in the emotional high tide if you can help it, and be gentle about sleep, full moon nights run notoriously shallow. High feelings make poor counsellors; let the tide ebb a day before deciding.

Can I do a full moon ritual if I’ve never done any ritual before? You could not choose a better beginning. The ceremony above requires no experience, no beliefs you do not already hold, and nothing beyond a candle and honesty.

What if I miss the full moon? You have three days’ grace on either side, and failing that, my dear, the moon is a monthly correspondent. She will write again.

Does the ritual work if I can’t see the moon? Entirely. Clouds trouble the view, never the tide.

A Standing Invitation from Bath

If you would like company at the moon’s appointments, this is precisely what my letters are for. Each month I write to my circle with the coming moons and what each asks of us, a word from the oracle and the angels, and the small ceremonies I keep in my own drawing room. When you subscribe, I shall send you my complete Saturn Return Survival Guide as a welcome gift, and you will never again meet a full moon unprepared.

Until then: light the candle, write the letter, and let it go. She is rising tonight regardless, and she has been waiting to help you carry things for a very long time.

With warm regards from Bath,

Madame Grace